Period Pajamas

Leona has this one, particular pair of pajamas that is just atrocious. They’re beyond ugly. Their retro-patterned pink-on-pink actually turns my stomach a little bit.

The problem with these pajamas is that they are Leona’s favorite pair of pajamas. To her, they’re comfortable and warm. To me, they’re saggy and thick. She likes that they button up easily and that they’re all flannel and cozy. I just hate them.

I don’t expect my wife to wear sexy lingerie to bed every night. I don’t even expect her to wear sexy lingerie to bed once a week. Once a month would be awesome. But these flannel nightmares are beyond ugly.

And I set the bar pretty low myself. Most nights, it’s the t-shirt and boxers I’ve been wearing all day for me. Some nights I might switch into a luxurious XXL or even XXXL t-shirt. If it’s extra chilly, I might wear some sweatpants or gym shorts to bed. So I know what you’re thinking, that I have an unfair double standard when it comes to pajamas, and you are absolutely correct.

For a ton of other reasons that I won’t even bother getting into with this post, it’s just a fact that husbands aren’t going to be sexy unless they are John Stamos or Antonio Banderas. Wives, however, tend to be women and as such have a much greater propensity for sexiness. I don’t ask Leona to drive stick: she doesn’t have it in her. Likewise, nothing I can wear to bed will ever make me sexy.

But there are lots of things Leona can wear to bed that I find attractive, if not outright sexy. I’m definitely attracted to my wife. I like when she looks pretty, gorgeous, sexy, whatever. I don’t like when she wears the pink, flannel equivalent of a burlap sack to bed.

So we reached a compromise. You see, there happens to be one time each month when I really don’t want to get fresh with my wife and, being a man, I don’t always pick up on the subtle cues that perhaps I should pick up on that indicate that it’s that particular time of the month. Sometimes when Leona is biting my head off every time I open my mouth I think she’s just getting a little randy with me and we’re just passionate. In truth, she just has her period.

And that’s where these ugly pajamas come in. They are now the official period pajamas. If Leona puts those babies on, I keep my hands to myself and my mouth shut until we’re back to normal PJs.

Now I just have to make sure she doesn’t start wearing them three days a week.

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Tags: antonio banderas, john stamos, Leona, lingerie, pajamas, romance, sexy lingerie, wife

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